future family starter



At some point along the way, there’s a good chance that you’ll face skepticism or even outright criticism over your decision to pursue surrogacy.

Despite ever-growing awareness and acceptance of surrogacy as a viable alternative parenting option, intended parents should realize that such doubt and questioning is still an unfortunate reality. The likelihood of being confronted by those who question your decision of course depends on a combination of factors: where you live, your marital status, your sexual orientation, and your surrounding religious and spiritual community, among others.

Thankfully, public attitudes toward surrogacy seem to be growing more and more favorable by the day. Major policy initiatives have passed on the state level which establish a sensible legal framework to govern surrogacy’s practice; several popular celebrities have embraced surrogacy and served as outspoken champions of the joys which it can bring; top-tier media outlets have run features on women who choose to serve as surrogates for much than just money, speaking with great emotion in saying that they feel blessed to be part of a miracle in creating a new life.

But to tell ourselves that surrogacy is universally celebrated would be to dismiss a real challenge that many intended parents face. From family to neighbors to medical professionals, you might encounter criticism in a wide variety of forms. Sometimes it might be outspoken, other times it might manifest in an unsaid gesture. Whatever the case may be, the effect it can have on your confidence and emotional well-being can be significant.

To merely ignore such criticism is a lofty but often unrealistic solution. No matter how much strength we might find in those who support us, and no matter how convinced we are that what we’re doing is right, the doubts can still creep in.

The best way you can handle surrogacy’s critics, then, is to take active measures to avoid them and keep them away from your child. When building your team of consultants, lawyers, and medical professionals, be sure to select those who will offer nothing but support for your decision – regardless of whether you’re a traditional or nontraditional parent or couple. If it’s a family member that questions your decision, explain to them that it’s a choice made through love, and that you’re fully committed to raising a happy, healthy, and supported child. If they still criticize, you might re-consider the extent to which you want them involved in your child’s life.

You need to make choices that are best for your new family, and that includes proactively building an environment that will love and support not only you as an intended parent, but your new child as well.